I so don't know if this will make sense.

I have no words for the events of today. Love is starting to bloom with some and for others they lost a love. Love ~ The pain is worse than any transformation that I can promise you. There is no set time on mending a broken heart. The days will be dark and you will feel more alone than you have ever felt before. You will cry until you can't breath and then, then you will cry some more. The funny thing about all of those things are if you think of it when you are truely in love then all of those feelings are still there. When you are not with your love at times you feel like the light of the sun does not shine nearly as bright and you will feel alone. When your love says or does something so beautiful just to say they love you, you will cry and you will tell your friends and cry again. Love is love and there is no one single thing that is bad about it and no one single thing that is good about it either. So why do we keep those walls up until "the right one" comes along to tear them down? We do it because we couldn't be who we are without it and we wouldn't want to be. I think that there is no one special someone. Our lives are filled with many special someones. They come in and impact our lives that we grow from everything. Even the one who turned me is just as much a special someone as Embry was. Two completely seperate people with two completely different reasons for being special to me. Infact if it wasn't for the one I would have never met the other. Unlike the person who changed me Embry will always be one of my closest friends and for that, as well as my sisters and other friends, I am eternally grateful to that stranger.

My point is this...never hurt that special someone, remain special to them for the good you have done in their lives.

In closing I want to say that we are all strange in one way or another but that is what we love about each other. In the words of a very wise woman...
"The only people who are humans are the weird ones with no life; the rest are beasts living in a hell of randomness"-Kat R.

~Senna~

OH MY!!!I

Today today today...where should I start. I guess the beginning would work. I went tracking that damn little terror thing got alittle too close for comfort and I wanted it dead. HOWEVER Paul and I had to promise that unless that little creep hurt someone it would go unharmed. Well apparently while I was away it made a move on Paul so while they were all at a party I went to find it again and that is when it got alittle crazy. I was heading back when something jumped out at me. I got back in to town and ran in to Paul who was angered that this thing is getting more risky that we both headed out. I decided that I would entice this thing and told Paul to stay back and I walked ahead of him until he couldn't see me, I went to lie down and just waited well I didn't have to wait long until the thing attacked. It bite my arm and if it was for the facts that 1. I can heal myself and 2. Paul heard me hiss and scream in turn running and scaring the damn thing away, I probably would have probably been ripped to pieces. I can't wait to explain the mark to Zafrina in the morning. Now this wasn't all sad aggravation there is definately a silver lining to this cloud. Some how word got to Embry that I was hurt and he came running. He had to go back to the party but that was cool he said he would come back and he did. When he showed up he rubbed my arm where the mark still is and it was like fire, electricity. I wonder if he felt it too? He then feel asleep on my couch, he looks so cute laying there. *sighs* Well I am going to sneak out for a quick hunt. You all have a wonderful night...I am. Goodnight!

What a day!!!

This whole day was strange to say the very least. Mike thought that he was the one I was interested in and until I held his hand last night that is what I thought to but um no. It seems my initial feelings were correct and my interest lies more in an occasionally soft and furry soul. I am no less confused than I was yesterday in fact I think I could be hurt, huh imagine that, me a vampire, hurt. I had an interesting time trying to save Mike from getting his behind beat by Paul and in the process made a deal to owe him if he just left Mike be. However he is a sly werewolf and I am sure that once my IOU is up or as long as Mike keeps throwing names around he will be fair game. Paul also has some how figured my secret, I don't think it was that hard to figure out me being such an open and honest vampire I don't really hide things well. In fact I think the object of my affection may have a clue that there is an attraction. Anyways, after a mostly unsuccessful and slightly but not too bad, heated discussion with Paul on why he should give Mike a break I went for a walk with Tanya. I did everything I could to comfort her in knowing that things between her and Mike would be OK and now they are talking things out. *I hope he doesn't try and tell her he ended things with me...there was nothing to end* I am confident they are going to be fine. I saw it. Man I feel like that Dr. Phil guy...giggles*

On a bit of a downer note...Zafrina is not here yet and I am starting to get a little worried. I hope things are OK. I can't wait until she gets here, she will be able to screw my head back on straight.

Well it is off to hunt.

I will not hide who I am

I was born to be a protector, to be what I have become. I have learned many skills in a short amount of time and still with the help of my loving and wonderful sister Zafrina and my fantastic friends I am learning more every day. I am not your typical everyday single woman I am a strong, beautiful, Amazonian vampire who as I have said before, will do whatever it takes to protect my family and friends. One day I will find that someone who has the same thoughts and good intentions as I. I will not need to look for you I already know where you are, though you will have to walk through your blindness to find me. I will be back later to write about the day.

Sitting in my room...

So tonight was amazing. I got into Forks and it has turned out to be more than I expected. I don't know how to explain it since I have never felt this way before. There is someone I am drawn to in a strange way. I don't crave him which is good especially with the new diet that Zafrina has me on (it really isn't that bad). He is a flirt and people consider him a "player" but I don't see that, maybe I am a fool. When he held my hand tonight I felt my blood warm slightly and a (slight) pulse of energy flow through my fingers. I don't know where this will lead if anywhere but I know that I really like this feeling. I don't know I am confused and I hate being confused...I don't get confused!!!

*UPDATE After a long walk last night I realized that it was not what I thought but a sign that my feelings are on a totally different track...He may make a good friend but I don't think anything more.